


Jason is a Moron

by Yeah_ALittle



Series: Batgirl Damian [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Barbara shows up in voice and hacking ability, Crack, Crossover, Gen, Injury warning, Jason gets beat up by the joker, Other Avengers show up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24117547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeah_ALittle/pseuds/Yeah_ALittle
Summary: Jason isn't that much of a Moron, but it was the old title so it's the now title.Jason gets injured and taken to Avengers Tower. Damian of all people has to go break him out.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Damian Wayne
Series: Batgirl Damian [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1577158
Comments: 3
Kudos: 125





	Jason is a Moron

**Author's Note:**

> I transferred this to a new fic because I know some people bookmarked or saved the old fic for this chapter and with all the crackiness that's going on there now, I figured it'd be better to move it to a new fic. So if you don't like the continuation, you can just save this fic.

Jason knew going in alone without even telling anyone what city he was in was probably a bad idea. But his outlaws were busy with other things and this was really a bat/Gotham thing. Not something for outsiders to deal with. Him not telling his family that he was going after Penguin’s supply warehouse in New York had more to do with the shouting match he and Bruce got up to a couple of days before he left.

But it’s not as though he was alone-alone. Tim was doing some business meetings for WE in New York and Damian was on a field trip. That the kid probably hated. He was also wearing a new outfit that he hadn’t shown to any of the Bats so there wasn’t a tracker in it, curtesy of the Batman. Oh, also the ‘Avengers’ were in New York but Jason didn’t know how much faith he’d put in the newly formed group. Looking at each member individually, it’d be a miracle if they managed to stay together. Only a couple had ever really worked in a team before, and most seem to prefer to be alone and work alone. Not so much unwilling to accept help, like Bruce was way back before Jason even knew him (-who is he kidding, Bruce is still like that half the time), but they’d rather try on their own and ask for help later. Or never. Even if it would make things easier.So, it’s like a team of Bruce’s.

Which, to be fair, did also describe some of the League -see the note about Bruce above-, but they also worked together for literal decades and know their strengths and weaknesses. Everyone in the League was also a hero in their own right with their own city before joining the League. They weren’t sequestered into one city to micromanage like the Avengers apparently were. If it wasn’t for ARGUS keeping the League a secret, covering for any of the earth-based operations they did, and preventing the media from their cities to be available anywhere but their cities and their sisters who also had heros, Jason was pretty sure ‘Earth’s Mightiest Hero’s’ wouldn’t even be call that mockingly. 

But, it really wasn’t his business what went on outside of Gotham most days. Today, not being one of those most.

Jason crouched on the beam above, looking down at the occupants of the warehouse. Currently, they were just New Yorker workers, not a Gothamite in sight. But, if his sources were right, that should change in an hour. Jason shifted, readying himself to stay still and undetected until Penguin’s goons came to resupply, then he would take them out and destroy the warehouse. Easy-peasy. None of his family even had to know he was in New York. It was all going according to plan. Until.

Until, the man who still haunts his nightmares came sauntering in. Who everyone thought only existed in nightmares now.

“Hello boys!” The Joker calls before shooting all the workers dead, “What? No reply?” The Joker asks before sneering, “How rude.” Jason watched as about a couple dozen men, definitely working for Joker swarmed in and started checking the boxes. Both Jason and the Joker were surprised to hear sirens outside. “It has barely been a minute!” Joker complains, and as much as Jason hated it, he had to agree with the clown. He had researched both the area the warehouse was in and the NYPD response time to shots fired. There should’ve been at least another few minutes before any police arrived. 

“Mistah J!” A voice called from outside, over the police bullhorn. And everything made sense. Jason hoped that Harley wouldn’t be back with Joker, she was doing so well with Ivy, but he knew the moment she came bouncing in, back in her jester costume, that his hope was pointless. But at least the police siren was blaring any more.

“Harley!” Joker cried, his creepy smile back on his face, “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, well I wanted to warn you, Puddin. My sources told me a Bat was going to nix this warehouse.” Harley says and Joker busts out laughing. 

“Oh, dear, stupid Harley. Why do you think I hit this warehouse in particular?”

“But, it’s not Batman, he and Spoiler were patrolling when I left.”

“Well, how many other Bats are there? There’s Nightwing,” Joker started, counting on his fingers as he listed,” Batgirl, Robin, Batwoman, Signal,” Jason tuned him out, coming up with a strategy to take out the twenty four men beneath him, when he realized Joker was literally going to list the entire Bat family except for Spoiler and Batman. Jason was finalizing his plan on taking out Joker and his goons when he distantly heard Joker scoff, “Well, they’re all Bats! They all go up high, right?” Before Jason could really decide to care about that statement or process what it meant, a very loud, very irritating noise started and caused him to lose control of his body for a moment, allowing him to fall off the beam and onto the hard concrete. 

“Wow Mistah J! That was amazing!” Harley cheers. 

Joker laughs, “Well, if it isn’t the Dead Boy Wonder.”

“ _Formerly_ Dead Boy Wonder.” Jason groans, not bothering to move, he can see the guns pointed at him from the corner of his eye. He was waiting until his body stopped radiating pain to actually do something.

Joker just scoffs, “Whatever, you’ll be dead again soon enough.” And walks over to one of the crates, sifting through it. While the Joker is distracted, Jason puts a finger to where his lips would be if he wasn’t wearing a helmet, signalling Harley to be quiet, before he got up and started knocking out Joker’s henchmen. Thankfully, it’s Joker, meaning he can’t pass up a good joke opportunity, so it really doesn’t matter how much noise Jason makes, Joker will just keep looking for whatever it is he’s looking for. It also means Jason has to deal with the joke once all the henchclowns are out for the count, “What-” Jason cuts the Joker off, not wanting to hear it.

“Shut up,” Jason says, pointing both his guns at Joker, and , stupidly, forgetting about Harley. Jason should’ve expected a giant mallet to his head. He was not. Thankfully, she only shattered the bottom half of his helmet, so only his mouth was only really exposed. Jason whirled around to do something, he wasn’t entirely sure if he was going to hit Harley -he didn’t really want to do that- or take her mallet from her, but he never got to decide, because a crowbar hit his mid-section and knocked him down.

“Ah, back to the good old days, me beating you senseless with a crowbar, then leaving you in a warehouse about to blow. Ah, the nostalgia. Going to bring a tear to my eye.” Joker says, wiping his dry eye with a hand before hitting Jason again.

_-Outside-_

“What’s going on?” Natasha asks, walking up to the empty police car, Clint right beside her.

“Something suspicious,” Clint said, looking into the police car, it was completely empty. 

“No duh. Wait,” Natasha says, putting a hand up to signal for silence. Someone was grunting in pain, and intermittently screaming, “Someone is getting beaten up.”

“So, bust in guns a blazing? Or a quieter approach?” Clint asks, grabbing his bow from his back. 

“Let’s go quieter,” Natasha says and motions for them to go in through a broken window at the top of the warehouse. The pair of spies creep along the beam that Jason had been on minutes ago.

“Nat. I only see a body,” Clint says looking around, before almost falling off the beam when a police siren sounds.

“Yeah, I think our perps are going to make a break for it,” Nat says, quickly walking back to the window to see a girl leaning over a man in the driver seat of the police car. She fires a small tracker onto the man but otherwise lets the couple leave. Seeing whether the body inside was living or dead took priority. She heads back in and jumps down from the beam, landing next to Clint who was crouched next to the body. 

“He’s alive, but, i don’t know for how long.” Clint says, looking up at Natasha with concern before his attention snaps back to the body when it lurches forward, coughing up blood. “Oh, god.” Clint groans when blood sprays onto him. “Great.”

“B-b-b” The guy was saying, he was clearly trying to say something. 

“Hey? What is it? We’re going to help you, but you’ve been badly injured. Can it wait?” The guy was supporting himself, trying to get up while Natasha talked to him. He shook his head before collapsing to the ground, too weak to support himself.

“Bomb.” The guy finally got out, before apparently passing out.

“Did he say bomb?” Clint asks, looking over at Natasha who was looking around.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here,” Natasha says, motioning for Clint to pick up the unconscious man and they quickly ran out the door, barely making it out before a loud beeping sounded and they were thrown by the explosion, thankfully not into the warehouse across the street, but just onto the walkway.

“Ow,” Clint grumbles after a minute of silence. Well not silence, there was a loud ringing in both his and Natasha’s ears. Both spies laid on the ground not moving, and not speaking further until Tony arrives in the Iron Man armour. 

“What happened?” Tony asks, landing in front of them.

“A lot of things. One was an explosion.” Natasha says, groaning as she pushes herself up.

“Hey, nononono, we don’t know what damage was done, ambulances are on their way. Uh, hospital or tower?”

“Tower.” Natasha answers before adding, “I put a tracker on the man that did this. He was wearing a purple suit and was with a girl in a red and black jester costume.”

“Okay, I’ll have JARVIS keep an eye on them, don’t worry- what are you doing?” Tony calls, walking over to where the stranger who was with Natasha and Clint was standing up with the help of the building.

“I am going home and having a hot bath.” The guy answers easily and starts limping away.

“Uh, no, no.” Tony says, straight-up picking the guy up to prevent him from leaving and hurting himself further, “You are not. You have no idea how injured you are!”

“My ankle is twisted, my back is probably severely bruised or crack, my upper left arm is shattered as is my upper left leg. Four of my ribs are broken three are cracked or bruised, my sternum is cracked, as is my skull, and four of my internal organs are bruised. “ The guy lists off as easily as one would a grocery list.

“I’m sorry, was that supposed to make me let you go?! I’m getting you medical attention. Now.” Widow, Hawkeye, I’ll see you back at the tower.” Tony says before flying off with the severely injured stranger in hand. The man just groaned but otherwise did nothing.

_-Tower-_

Jason hated morphine. Or whatever pain shit they were giving him. It clouded his mind and made it harder to make judgement calls. Like whether he should tell the morons around him he was awake. He was still wearing his helmet, something he was eternally grateful for because it meant he didn’t have to pretend he was asleep past keeping his heart rate down and being still.

“We’ll have to wake him to talk to him.” The doctor, Banner, Jason thinks is his name was- it sounded familiar-, was saying, “And I don’t want to do that until he’s more healed up. He has a lot of broken bones and he’s lucky he isn’t dead.”

“A twisted ankle, shattered humerus and femur on his left side, four broken ribs, three cracked, cracked sternum and skull?” Another man, this one Jason, regrettably, recognizes as Tony Stark, asks. 

“How did you-” Dr. Banner asks, shocked. Clearly Jason’s injuries were not shared with the class.

“He said so. Before I hauled him off. Anything else?”

“Tony, I can’t tell you about a patient's medical information.” Dr. Banner says, and already he was better than half the doctors in Gotham. Including the ones that go Halloween on the weekends. Doctors were normally more than happy to give up medical info if it’ll help an investigation, which Jason assumes there’s one going on about him.

“Fine. But if you won’t tell me anything and you won’t wake him up, they let’s go upstairs at least. I hate being on the med floor.” Stark says and practically drags Dr. Banner out. Jason looks around carefully and listens for a moment before deciding he was alone in the room. He twisted his head to double check that he was alone and he was. Jason moves to send an SOS from his helmet but finds his hands cuffed to the bedrails, he tests his legs and finds them free, thankfully.Jason’s face scrunches up in annoyance before he laxes it when he hears a door open and two pairs of footsteps walk in.

“JARVIS said he was awake. That he was pulling on his restraints.” Stark says, and Jason could hear him come up to his bedside. 

“His vital’s haven’t changed Tony.”

“Well, what if he was manipulating his vitals, making it appear as though he was asleep?”

“That would take a lot of effort and willpower and training that I don’t think this man has. But there is one way to check.” Dr. Banner says and Jason hears one of his cuffs click off. Jason debated knocking out the doctor and Stark, but when Banner was doing the slap test- as Jason likes to call it, really the doctor was just dropping his hand above his head and if he was awake he wouldn’t let the hand hit him or there be some hesitancy or something,- Jason remembered why Dr. Banner’s name was familiar. He’s the hulk. Probably shouldn’t try to attack him. “See?” Dr. Banner was saying, apparently, Jason had passed the slap test.

“What’s that supposed to prove?”

“If you were sleeping, or awake, you wouldn’t let your arm hit you, or you’d manipulate its fall in some way. He reacted like any sleeping or comatose patient would. He’s not awake. And JARVIS? Stop looking in on him. Let him get some rest. His vitals will tell us when he wakes.” Dr. Banner says, voice getting quieter as he gets farther away. Jason waits until the door shuts and he sees the pair walking away to pull his hand that Dr. Banner forgot to re-cuff and use his helmet to send out an SOS to Oracle, before dropping his hand back where it was before. Just in time too because a minute later he hears his door open and several pairs of footsteps entered. 

“Why are we having this conversation here?” An unknown man asks, although he looks familiar.

“Yeah, you hate the med area.” A woman adds, she definitely looks familiar. But it might just be the red hair, Jason tends to memorize most celebrities with red hair purely to tease Dick about them.

“Because I don’t believe he’s asleep, but if he is, I want to be here when he wakes up so I can ask what the fuck was going on,” Stark explains, both unknowns raise an eyebrow at him but otherwise say nothing. Dr. Banner just took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, probably irritated that Stark kept interrupting his patient. “Now, what brought you to the warehouse? And what happened in it?”

“We got intel that there was a supply shop for some mobster, Falcone, I think, in one of the warehouses around the area. We checked out where our intel led and got nothing. We were walking back to the Tower when we noticed an abandoned cop car. Thought it was odd so we checked it out and then heard this guy getting beat senseless inside. We went in, as we did, his assailants left. I tagged the man, he had clown make up on and a purple suit, and went back in to see if he was alive. He was and he barely was able to warn us about the bomb. We barely made it out before it went off, then you showed up.”

“Wait. He was barely able to warn you?”

“Yeah, he couldn’t even hold himself up, he tried to get up and failed. He’s seriously injured.”

“But he got up and started walking.”

“Limping. And, maybe he got an adrenaline high? I don’t know Tony. “ The red head says with a shrug.

“Holy fuck.” Jason was unable to keep him from saying that, thankfully it wasn’t a shout, it was fairly quiet, but he upped his heart rate and whatnot to what an awake person should have. Or, somewhere around there. He knew they heard him. But he at least knew why the red-head was familiar. She’s the Black Widow, he teased Dick mercilessly about that for at least a week after the Golden Boy had mentioned she was hot. 

He wasn’t wrong. Doesn’t mean Jason can’t be a good little brother and tease him for it.

“You’re awake. How are you?” Dr. Banner asks, walking forward. Jason reaches up and pulls off the breathing mask they had put on him.

“Was this necessary? And I’d be a lot better when the tube in my dick is gone.”

“And we don’t need to be here to see that.” The unknown guy says, standing up and starting to drag Stark out of the room with Widow following.

“We needed to be sure you were getting oxygen. Can you take off your helmet?”

“I _can_. I won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want you people to know me. My head is fine.”

“Your skull is fractured.”

“Yeah, new helmet design, need to fix the gap at the back. Look. I’m fine. So if you could remove the catheter and the IVs, let me go, I’d appreciate it.” Jason pleads. Dr. Banner opens his mouth to respond when Stark comes storming in.

“Helmet off!” He orders.

“No, Fuck you.”

“Take it off, or turn it off. Or I will.”

“Tony, what-”

“He’s sending out a signal, we don’t know where or what it is. Take it off or turn it off. Or I will rip it off.”

“Can’t. Automatically happens when the helmet is damaged.” Jason lies through his teeth.

“Where does it go?”

“Home.”

“Where is that?”

“Where is what?”

“Home.”

“Typically where the heart is.” Tony was practically seething.

“How does it stop going off?” Widow asks, putting a placating hand on Tony’s chest.

“Well, either I get a new one on, or I can take this one off and turn it off from the inside.”

“Didn’t you just-” Tony’s question ends in a groan.

“Can you turn it off so Tony doesn’t have a heart-attack?”

“What if that was my goal?” Jason asks and it got deathly silent very quickly. “Oooh, you never thought I might not be friendly. That’s a bad thing to guess about the guy whose face you won’t see.” Jason taunts.

“We can throw you in a cell. If you think your that fine.” Tony’s words were clipped. His eyes had changed, he was now accessing Jason.

_“Sir, Red Oktober’s signal has stopped. “_ A voice said from the ceiling.

“Red October?”

“Shut up. Why did the signal stop? You said-”

“They got it.” Jason said with a shrug.

“Who? Who got the signal?”

_”Sir! There is an incoming projectile. It’s moving too fast for any video feed to pick it up!”_ The voice from the ceiling chimes in, sounding panicked. 

“Oh, no, don’t do that.” Jason groans and tries to burrow himself in the bed. It was one of the Supers. He knew that. He just really hoped it wasn’t Superman. Or Tim’s boyfriend. Or _Damian’s_. He kinda doesn’t want it to be Bizarro either. That would get messy really quick.

“You know what that is?” Tony demands, but Jason just groans in response.

_“Sir, the projectile has stopped.”_

“Stopped?”

_“Yes, it appears to be a person, but they are wearing something that makes me unable to identify their face.”_

“Give me the feed you have them on. Where are they?” Stark asks, pulling up his phone. 

_“Floor 85. They appear to be waiting for you on the balcony.”_

“What? Widow, stay here. You two, with me.” Stark orders, leaving the room. Dr. Banner sighs but follows Stark out, along with the unknown man. 

“They a friend?” Widow asks.

“Not mine,” Jason says, if they were wearing face scrambling tech, then it was either Jon or Kon. Which meant his ass was about to be saved by either Replacement or the Demon Brat. Joy.”Ugh, can you help me sit up?” Jason asks, holding out his non-broken arm. Widow eyes him for a moment before grasping it and pulling him into a sitting position. “Thanks,” Jason says before removing all the medical crap on him. Starting with the morphine IV. God, he hated that.

“You shouldn’t do that. Dr. Banner-”

“Says only a trained professional should do it because if done wrong there could be so much blood everywhere? Yeah, been trained on how to do IVs since I was twelve, lady.”

“Really?” Jason pauses and realizes why Widow was the only one left. She was going to interrogate him. Well, two can play it that game.

“Yeah. Mom died of an overdose, people who took me in were practically monsters. Made me into one to.” Jason lies, partially, while still removing all his medical crap. Pulling out his catheter last and hating every moment of it.

“You’re only a monster if you choose to be one.”

“What would a pretty lady like you know about that crap?”

“I was made into a monster, an assassin, but someone saw something in me, something I didn’t even see and helped me become someone better.” Wow, that’d be inspiring if it wasn’t in the file Bruce had on her.

Jason just scoffed, “Trust me, lady, you’ve never met a monster.”

“How would you know?” Widow asks and Jason stands up, looking down at her and recited from memory;

“Natalia Alianova Romanova, born in 1928 in Stalingrad when the USSR reigned over what is now Russia. Given to the Red Room for conditioning and training on being a Black Widow. Been married twice, congrats, first one died, second one is a mystery. But both are over. You have a serum in you, similar to the Captains but not the same. Not close enough to make it apparent, but it’s obvious if you know where to look. Too fast, too strong, too smart. You haven’t aged as you should. You’re terrified of the other avengers noticing. Hoping the Captain doesn’t remember his very short encounter with you during World War Two. You’re not a monster. You’re a victim. And stupid.” Jason finishes off, knowing he had her full attention, knowing she had no idea of the kid behind her when she was knocked out. “Owowowow.” Jason mumbles, sitting back down on the bed.

“Are you an invalid now?” The demon brat asks. Jason wasn’t sure if it was the brat at first, he wasn’t wearing his robin costume or any other that Jason associated with him. Instead,

“Why are you Batgirl?” Jason asks, looking at Damian’s costume with a raised eyebrow. It was Barbara’s old purple and yellow costume. “And why do you have red hair?” Jason asks, eyeing the hair popping out from the bass of the cowl.

“Oracle insisted it would bring less attention. And, apparently, its a weave of hair extensions she sewed on. Because ‘Why would I have my hair out? That’s just sloppy and inviting criminals to pull it and do DNA testing on any strands they pulled out.’” Damina says, putting up airquotes when he started quoting Barbara.

“That’s not bad. Why would she pick her own hair color though? Why do it at all?”

“I didn’t ask that many questions, Hood. Now come. Jon can only distract them for so long.”

“One of my legs is badly broken and my ankle is twisted.” Jason says when Damian starts pulling him off the bed. Damian groans and grabs some crutches by the wall and hands them over to Jason. “Thanks.” Jason says dryly and gets up following Damian out as quickly as possible. Given the stops and starts and the waiting for precise timing, Jason could guess Oracle was in Damian’s ear, giving him instructions. 

“Wait, up?” Damian asks, pausing in the stairwell. Damian grumbled a moment later but headed up the stairs with Jason trailing behind him, following as fast as he could.

“Elevator not possible?” Jason grumbles when Damian stopped on the little platform between levels. 

“Out,” Damian says, pulling open the door that was normally electronically locked and motioned for Jason to go first. Damian follows close behind and walks to the elevator, pushing the call button.

“Oh, now we get an elevator.” Jason grumbles but Damian stops him from entering when the right one opens up. 

“Left.” Was all Damian said and they waited until the left one opens its door and went in, Damian gave him a comm in his ear, pushing a button for a floor before ordering, “helmet, now.” Jason begrudgingly does so, handing over the helmet and the domino mask beneath it. Damian shoves it in a bag and pulls out a nose ring, a fake one, and an ear peice. Jason presumed the nose ring was a face scrambler so they couldn’t run facial recognition on the feed they would’ve gotten of him without any mask. Putting both on Jason and handing the domino mask back. “Keep it on until you leave the elevator. In case.” Damian says, zipping up Jason’s jacket to hide the red bat symbol and kevlar beneath it, before leaving the elevator.

“Okay, now what? I’m on crutches.” Jason says, knowing Oracle could hear him, putting the domino mask back on.

“ You’re going to get out at the floor Damian pushed, you’re going to walk and head to to the balcony. Then you’re going to jump off.”

“What.” Jason was following up until that point. He glanced and at the buttons to see which one was lit up.36. “Okay, we’re aware I will die, right?”

“You’ll get caught. Don’t worry. Just, jump off the small balcony. And don’t look suspicious before then.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it ” Jason mutters watching the numbers above the elevator go down, but something felt wrong. “I’m going up.” Jason states and hears Oracle cursing in his ear.

“He hacked it back. Give me a moment. Put on the mask, and get out of the elevator the moment it opens. Got it?”

“Yup.” Jason says, prepping himself to jump out of the elevator. Domino mask in place.

_-Floor 85-_

Jon was zooming around the room, most of the Avengers were trying to catch or stop him. But Damian had given him very strict orders. Do not get caught. So he wasn’t. But it was kinda hard with Hawkeye, Captain America and the Hulk all trying to grab him. Iron Man was cursing at his tablet very loudly. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Jon asks whenever he got close enough for Iron Man to hear him.

“Yeah, just, wrestling back control of my tower.” Ironman answers mindlessly, looking up in surprise a moment later before going back to what he was doing.

“Having fun up here?” Black Widow asks, walking into the room.

“You’re supposed to be with the patient.”

“The patient knocked me out. He had help.”

“Help you saw? Aside from the kid zooming around and whoever is hacking into my tower.”

“Yeah, caught up to her on the 68th floor. Red hair, purple costume, yellow bat on her chest.”

“What is with the bats. The patient had one too. Hey, kid? You have a bat?” Iron man asks.

“No, just an S.” Jon answers.

“Hey, kid, do you know these two well?” Black Widow asks.

“I guess, why?” Jon asks back.

“What do they know of monsters?” That made Jon stop which was a mistake. He was hit by an arrow and a shield at the same time, moving with the shield a bit to prevent damaging it too much, but it still had a large dent in it. Jon grabbed it from where it had fallen, eyeing the dent. Hulk grabbed him when he was doing so and Jon internally cursed. Damian was going to be so mad.

“Uh, a lot? I don’t know. It depends on what you consider monsters.” Jon asks, shifting before breaking Hulk’s grasp and flying away, stopping by the Captain to give him back his shield before continuing.

“How did you do that?” Ironman asks.

“Super Strength?” Jon answers hesitantly.

“Wait, what happened to the girl you followed?” Hawkeye asks.

“She got away.”

“Ignore that. Head to floor 50.” Ironman orders.

“Why?” 

“I’m fighting for control, but I’ll lax up around floor 50, letting the patient jump out of the elevator he’s in”

“What? The patient is-”

“Later. Hurry!” Ironman orders and the two quickly follow running into another elevator to get down.

_“Jon! Damian! Oh, where have those boys gone now?”_ Jon could hear his teacher ask.

“Uh oh.” Jon mutters and pushes on his comm that he hadn’t been using, “Uh, D? We’re in trouble?”

_”You got caught?”_ Damian asks, sounding tired and like he expected it.

“No! Like, civ trouble.” There was silence for a moment before Damian started cursing wildly.

_”Give me a minute.”_ Damian orders and hangs up.

_-Floor 50-_

“Oracle, I need to call my teacher before she calls father who will question why we aren’t on our plane home.” Damian informs, hiding away, waiting for Jason. Oracle said she’d probably be able to release Jason onto the 50th floor. So here Damian was, waiting for him.

_“One minute.”_ Oracle warns before Damian called his teacher.

_” Hello?”_

“Hello, Mrs Drummond, I meant to call you earlier. I requested Damian to stay behind until his brother is done with his meetings. Jon insisted on staying with him. I’ve already called the Kents to get their approval but I can have them call you if you would prefer.” Damian says, using his father’s voice.

_“No, Mr. Wayne, that’s fine. Thank you for calling me though, I was about to have a heart attack. I hope the boys enjoy their weekend in the big apple.”_ Mrs Drummond says before hanging up.

Damian puts his phone away, breathing a sigh of relief, which is short lived when he sees the Black Widow and Hawkeye.

“Oracle. Issue. Hawkeye and Black Widow. Floor 50.” Damian mutters, which causes Barabara to curse. Why did rescuing Jason have to be so hard?

_“Handle them.”_

“Excuse me?” Damian hisses. 

_“Handle them for thirty seconds when I tell you to. I’ll send Jon down and he can whisk you and Jason away.”_

“Fine.” Damian mutters before his comm buzzes and Jon voice comes over.

_“Problem. I have been caught.”_

“How?”

_“Cake?”_

“The cake is a lie.”

_“Shut up. Anyways, i’m handcuffed to a table.”_

“So?”

_“So, it’s a magic handcuff, and a really nice table.”_ Jon whines before shouting _“Hey!”_ as some rustling comes over the line. 

_“Hello?”_ Someone asks. Someone not Jon. 

Damian growls but answers using Barbara’s voice, “Hiya! Can you put my friend back on the line?” He asks, trying to put the right about of cheer and bubble into the words.

_“No. Not until you tell us what is going on.”_

“Oh, okay. See you later, Mr Stark.” Damian says and hangs up, going back to Oracle, “Jon’s compromised.”

_“What the fuck.”_ Oracle says and it takes Damian a moment to realize why. He hadn’t switched back to his normal voice. 

“Oops, sorry. Oracle?” Damian asks, using his own voice now.

_“Okay, did not believe Dick when he said you could mimic anyone or thing. Now I do. Don’t ever do that again.“_

“Oracle! What do we do? I can’t handle both of them.” As much as Damian hated to admit it, he was no match for two adult assassins. Especially with one from the Red Room. He wouldn’t be able to take them down long enough for everyone to escape.

_“Uh, I can’t- i dont-. Fuck!”_ Oracle snaps. _“Surrender. I’m sorry. Riddler just took over the news station and Penguin the subway systems,B is asking me to look into some accounts and Dick is being nosy, I’m sorry. There’s so much, I can’t. Surrender, I won’t let the Bat know. I’ll figure something out to help you later.”_

“Fine. It’s fine. You did what you could. Not your fault Jon can’t resist cake.” Damian says with a sigh. He doesn’t like giving up, but, he knows when he’s fighting a losing battle. He could probably fight both spies long enough for Jason to make an escape, but it would definitely lead to his capture and he wouldn’t be able to ensure Jason getting away with Jon compromised.

_“I’ll let Jason know.”_ Oracle says before signing off. Damian sighs, he hates surrendering, he almost never does it. Rather die fighting than surrender to any of the villains he fights with father. But, sometimes, particularly when fighting with his mother, he surrenders when he knows he’s fighting a losing battle. When he knows there is no other way out. He’s definitely fallen under mind control once or twice to avoid death, purely because he knows father would prefer him alive and controlled than dead. Even if the man would never say such a thing. Damian hops down from his hiding place and bounces up like he’s seen Brown do as batgirl, speaking in Barbara’s voice once more, “Hiya! I’m really sorry, I don’t want to fight you. I just wanted to retrieve my friend.” Saying sorry was far easier when he wasn’t being himself, Damian found as he continued,” You see, we’re not supposed to be in New York. The city or the state.” Damian explains with a little shrug and a guilty smile.

“How old are you?” Hawkeye asks, eyeing Damian suspiciously.

“Twelve.” Damian lies, his fourteenth birthday was the month before, but they don’t need to know that. And everyone always thinks he’s younger than he actually is.

“How old is your friend?” 

And now he sees where this is going. Damian scrunches his face up, “What are you implying mister?”

“He seems a little old, for you to be friends with him.”

“Isn’t one of your friends a senior citizen?” Damian shoots back, and a laugh sounds from the elevator. Jason was leaning against one of the walls the doors disappear into, laughing and wearing his domino mask.

“It’s not that funny,” Widow says, eyeing Jason.

“No, no, of course not. Just, hearing the Demon Brat say it is hilarious. She’s never this outspoken without someone dying.” Jason says, crutching over to Damian. Who hands him a spare red hood helmet. Jason pulls it on, “So, Stark said everyone in the elevator. Heading up.”

“He did?” Widow asks, crossing her arms and looking at the pair suspiciously.

“What? You’re not still mad I knocked you out, are you?” Damian asks, slightly taunting. 

Widow looks at them suspiciously a moment more and then heads into the elevator. “After you?” Hawkeye says, motioning for them to head in first. Jason crutches in with Damian close behind. “So, I take it you won’t tell us your names, got any codenames?” Hawkeye asks, following them in.

“Red Hood.”

“Batgirl.” The pair respond as the doors shut and the car flies upward.

_--_

Damian had to admit, the table they were sitting at was very nice, and it was very amusing to see Jason getting scolded from walking around from Dr. Banner, who was looking a little green around the edge. 

“Okay, so you’re ten,” Stark starts, pointing at Jon who was munching on the promised cake, and not at all handcuffed,” and you’re twelve.” He adds, pointing to Damian who was just glaring. “And you’re rescuing a twenty-five year old?” Stark looked over as if he expected Jason to tell him how old he was.

“Depends. Do years dead count?” Jason calls back.

“Is he kidding?”

“Nope.” Jason and Damian chorus.

“How old are you mister?” Damian asks, still using Barbara’s voice, still pretending to be a girl. Why did he agree to this?

“Too old to be dealing with this shit. Where are you from?”

“We’re Gotham City Vigilantes.” Jason answers. 

“Are you even listening?” Dr. Banner asks, clearly annoyed that his medical lecture was being ignored.

“Nope. You don’t want me out walking because of my severely injured leg. Got it. Look, like the kid said, we’re not supposed to be in this state.”

“Why were you here in the first place?”

“Tracking a Gotham criminals supply warehouse.”

“The one that beat you up?” Widow asks, raising an eyebrow. Damian didn’t need to see Jason’s face to know the rage that would’ve been displayed, it was in his body. He didn’t know who had done this to Jason, but he knew whoever it was, wasn’t going to survive long.

“Who beat Hood up?” Damian asks, making his face show his curiosity.

“A man with clown make-up on, in a purple suit, and a woman in a red and black jester suit.” Widow describes and Damian’s eyes widened. He was tense, ready to run. To hide, to beat the shit out of the Joker, he wasn’t sure.

“That’s impossible,” Damian whispers, barely remembering to use Barbara’s voice. Joker was killed in the Arkham collapse. His corpse was found. It was confirmed by at least six sources. Including Batman.

“Nothing’s impossible kid. Not when it comes to him.” Jason mutters.

“Hey, hey, are you-” Stark starts, putting a hand on Damian’s shoulder and the kid just reacted. Releasing himself from the bonds and flipping Stark onto the table, Jon’s cake spoon at the man’s throat. “Okay, ow.”

“Demon-” Jason starts but someone they really didn’t want to deal with cut him off.

“Batgirl, down.” A deep gravelly voice ordered before the man it came from scrunches up his face and returns to his normal tone, “That doesn’t have the same ring to it. You sure you want to be Batgirl?” Dick asks, standing in the room, having come in from the balcony. Damian took a deep breath and released the spoon backing away from Stark. He didn’t mean to, he just reacted, he was scared and Joker is out and now Dick _knows_. He knows they fucked up, he knows- “Hey.” Dick says, he was right in front of Damian, holding the kids face in his hand, slipping into the League’s dialect of Arabic before continuing, _“Are you okay? You’re crying. Hood will recover from whatever injuries he has. We don’t have to tell B anything about this. She just sent me to get you out. Red is covering for you. You won’t get in trouble.”_ Dick says, trying to comfort the kid despite having no idea why Damian is upset.

“ _He’s_ alive.” Was all Damian needed to say before Dick knew exactly why Damian was upset. They thought it was over. They thought they could rest easy, that Bruce could start to heal. To not have to battle with the Joker’s attempts to drive him mad, day in and day out. To not have to deal with the PTS that comes after every fight with the clown, after every casualty he causes. Dick glances over at Jason, who is deathly still. Jason didn’t believe the Joker dead. He never did. Not unless Jason was the one killing him.

“We’ve dealt with him for decades, everything will be fine.” Dick says with a gentle smile before standing up and spinning to face the room, and Jon. “Woah, that looks like some good cake,” Dick says, leaning on the table, Stark had gotten up off the table and was watching the group warily.

“They said if I stopped flying around they’d let me eat a whole cake of my choosing. And, the flying was making me a bit dizzy.” Jon admits. 

“Mm, tell you the truth, “ Dick says, mock whispering, “I probably would’ve done the same. B never lets us have cake unless it's our birthday. And even then, I had to talk him out of a pie the first couple of years.” As Dick was consoling Jon, Damian snuck over to Jason and spoke to him in the League’s dialect.

_“What are you going to do?”_

_“Bash the bastard’s face in with a crowbar. Try to kill him. Fail, get into a fight with B. Probably end up shooting you.”_ Jason admits.

Damian scrunches up his face, _“If you make me go through recovery and benching for longer than a week, I will shove Nightwing’s Eskrima so far up you-”_ Damian was cut off by Dick covering his mouth and laughing awkwardly.

“You will not do any such thing with my eskrima.”

_“Fine. With Red’s Bo.”_ Damin replies, still in arabic

**”No”** Dick says, remaining in english.

_“How about with grandfather’s sword?”_

“Okay, we’re not-” Dick stops and just throws Damian over his shoulder, making the kid drop his bag by Jason. “Sorry. Kids.” Nightwing says with a shrug to the general area.

“Okay, you know none of us understood a word either of them was saying. Even though Tony was trying to translate.” Hawkeye says.

_“Hey Dickie, now’s your chance with another dangerous redhead.”_ Jason calls in the League’s dialect, causing the man in question to flare red.

“Hood!” 

“Okay!” Stark calls. “Okay, everyone shut up and calm down.” He orders, “You four, are going to explain who you are, then you are going to tell us who you really are. Then you’re going to tell us who this ‘he’ is.” Dick puts Damian down with a sigh and walks toward Stark.

“Look, Mr Stark, we have nothing against you, we have no quarrel here. Thank you, for giving Hood medical attention, but we’d really like to just go. We don’t want to have to turn this into an all-out battle.” Dick says, sounding a tad pleading and placating.

“You think you could turn this into a battle?”

“I really don’t want it to come to that.”

“Either you tell us what we want to know, or it will. And we’ll lock you up to boot.”

Jason bursted out laughing again. “You think-” Jason couldn’t even get the words out, laughing too hard.

“You’re severely injured and your friend surrendered. There’s no other way this could end.” Captain America says.

“Hey, wait, aren’t you like, not a Captain?”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeaheyahyeah, In B’s files. You weren’t an official military Captain when you were getting called that. You didn’t even pass basic training.” Jason says, he was definitely taunting while reaching around Damian’s bag.

“Son, just stop.”

“Or what? You going to give me a lecture? About being red white and blue and proud? About being patriotic? About doing all I can for my country?”

“Hood, stop. Look. None of us want to fight. But it won’t be us that lose. Your all over the media, you’re obvious. You have no idea how we fight. We know precisely how you do.” Nightwing says and immediately ducks, pulling out his eskrima and sticking them together, sweeping Widow’s legs out from under her as her widow bites crackle uselessly after her attempt to taze him. Jason lurches forward and jabs a needle into Bruce’s neck, injecting the liquid into his veins. He attempts to hulk out but returns to Banner form and just lies uselessly on the couch, catatonic.

“What did-” Stark starts but Nightwing knocks him out easily. 

Widow was up and standing with Hawkeye and Captain America.

“Two down for the count.” Jason says, relaxing on the couch. Nightwing was standing slightly in front of Damian as Jon comes to float beside Dick, Damian remained behind the pair.

In fact, Damian moved a bit more in behind Dick, the Captain’s weakness was obvious to anyone who had read his record. _“Steve? Stevie?Help!”_ Damian calls, mimicking Sergeant Barnes’s voice. The microsecond of confusion and lack in guarding that comes with, allows for Damian’s opening, or rather, Jason’s opening. Since he was the one with the gun. Two tranq darts to the neck, a moment later, Captain America was out cold.

“And that makes three.” Jason announces. Damian taps on Jon’s back and once he had his attention he signed for Jon to take Jason and flee. Jon hesitates for a moment before doing as he’s told.

“Evening out the playing field?” Black Widow asks once she sees it was two against two.

“Nah, we’re leaving.” Nightwing says before both he and Damian bolt for the balcony and jump off. Both Black Widow and Hawkeye rush to the edge, looking down for any sign of the group, but just saw darkness below.

“What just happened?”

“I-I don’t know. I think we lost.”

“They ran. If anything, they lost.”

“Come one, let’s check on the others.”


End file.
